Regret Me Not
by beckyharvey29
Summary: What happened between Ian and Mickey the night Mickey came out?


Ian took in Mickey's disheveled, bloody appearance, still trying to wrap his head around the night's events. He watched as the brunette took a swig from the flask, wincing and gingerly avoiding his split lip.

"So, you really came out, huh?"

"Doesn't mean I'm going to wear a fucking dress or anything."

"Nobody fucking asked you to," Ian shot back before adding, "though you do have really nice legs." He watched as the words registered in Mickey's head and then, finally, the brunette cracked a smile that spread slowly across his broken face.

"You're a fucking dick."

Ian hiccuped into a laugh and then doubled over in laughter before clutching at his sore ribs. "Ow, fuck!"

"Yeah. There. That's what you get," Mickey said, laughing through his own pain.

Ian finished laughing, both of their smiles melting from their faces as reality set back in.

Ian fully understood everything Mickey had risked for him tonight and his heart swelled with love for him. He got off of the hood of the car and made his way to Mickey. He wrapped a strong arm around him, pulling him close and kissing the top of his head. He knew there were no words to make Mickey feel better, but at least he could let him know he was there, to face whatever demons that lie ahead.

"Come on," Ian said. "Let's go back to my place...get you cleaned up."

Mickey lifted his wet eyes and stared at Ian for a few heartbeats before saying, "No. No more hiding. We're going back to my place."

Ian took in Mickey's words and then finally nodded. He wanted to reach out and take Mickey's hand, but knew the older boy had had enough life-changing moments for the night and that public displays of affection would have to wait.

* * *

><p>Mickey made his way up to the cluttered Milkovich porch with Ian following close behind him.<p>

"You sure you want to do this, Mick?" Ian whispered from behind him, his breath coming out in puffs. "We could just go back to my place, you don't have to face anyone yet."

Mickey opened the door and then turned to Ian. He took in the redhead's battered appearance, his heart slightly swelling at the thought that Ian had defended him tonight, that he hadn't thought twice about jumping in and helping to kick his father's ass.

He had never been more sure of something in his life. He didn't know how or why it happened, but Ian Gallagher had changed him and there was no going back.

"I'm sure," Mickey said, reaching up and touching Ian's bloody cheek tenderly. "No more fucking hiding."

They walked into the house to find an empty living room and a dimly-lit kitchen.

Mickey figured Svetlana was still at the bar, probably trying to think up new ways to blackmail him about the baby. Mandy was probably off somewhere fucking Kenyatta. He was a little relieved to not have to face anyone right now. All he wanted to do was shower and guzzle a six pack.

"I'm going to go take a shower," Mickey said as he shook out of his coat and headed to the bathroom. He hesitated a little outside the door and said, "you coming?"

Ian raised an interested eyebrow. He and Mickey had never showered together before. "Fuck yeah," he said, following the brunette into the cramped space.

Mickey shut the door behind them and pulled his shirt over his head, tossing it to the floor. He snuck a quick look at Ian as he was undressing, catching a glimpse of his abs.

They both undressed in silence, neither of them quite knowing what to say to each other.

Mickey bent down and started the water, temping it and then turning on the showerhead when the water was just right. He stepped into the shower and under the hot spray, the blood running down his body and down the drain. He hung his head and let out an exhausted sigh.

He lifted his head when he sensed Ian stepping in behind him and then there were strong arms wrapping around him from behind, pulling him close. He didn't think about how gay this was, he just leaned back into Ian's chest and rested his head back against his shoulder.

Ian bent his head and kissed Mickey's shoulder. There was so much he wanted to say, but knew that now was not the time. Instead, they stood in silence under the spray.

Mickey closed his eyes, feeling the sting of tears threatening. His chest heaved as he fought back his emotions.

"Hey. Hey," Ian whispered, somehow knowing that Mickey was about to break. "None of that, Mick," he said, hooking a finger under Mickey's chin and turning his head back so that their faces were inches apart. "Fuck that asshole, he's not worth it."

Mickey stared back into Ian's eyes before leaning in and pressing his lips softly to his. They kissed under the spray of the water, slowly and languidly...more passionately than they had ever kissed before. They took their time, pouring their emotions into the kiss.

When they finally stopped, the water was lukewarm and they were clean, the only evidence from the night's events were scrapes, scratches, and bruises.

"Come on," Ian said, leaning down and turning off the water. "Let's get dry and go to bed."

They got out of the shower and dried off in silence before sneaking into Mickey's room, their naked bodies illuminated by the moonlight pouring in from the window.

Mickey shut the door and walked over to his closet, intent on finding them clothes to sleep in. He then stopped himself. "What the fuck am I doing? We don't need clothes."

A slow smile curled on Ian's face, relieved to see a small piece of Mickey still shining through. "Works for me," he said before reaching out and grabbing Mickey's wrist. He pulled the brunette to him, their naked torsos crushing together. "Now that we're officially together, does this mean I get to kiss you anytime I want?"

Mickey just stared back at Ian, wondering how they had both gotten to this point, but he was done fucking questioning it. None of it made sense, yet it made complete fucking sense. He couldn't live without Ian Gallagher and there was no denying it anymore.

He leaned in and pressed his lips against Ian's, initiating another slow, sensuous kiss. Before he really knew what was happening, Ian wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him to the bed. He fell ontop of the younger boy, not breaking the kiss until Ian forced his mouth away.

"Ow," the redhead said, wincing in pain. "Shit."

Realization set in and Mickey rolled off of him. "Fuck, my bad."

Both boys perched up on an elbow facing each other.

"It's okay," Ian said, his eyes searching. "I kinda deserve it. After all, I basically forced you to come out tonight."

"You didn't force me to do anything," Mickey said back. "You just pushed me to do something I should have done months ago."

Ian reached out and intertwined their hands, not caring at the moment how gay it seemed. Mickey didn't seem to mind anyway. "What made you do it?"

Mickey swallowed and dropped his eyes, still getting used to this whole smaltzy bullshit. "I didn't want to see your ass walk away again."

"Funny. I thought you loved looking at my ass."

"Smart ass."

Ian smiled and then leaned in to kiss Mickey softly. The kiss was slow and tentative at first, and then deepened. Ian moaned into Mickey's mouth, wanting him more than ever. He moved so that he was now hovering over Mickey and Mickey was on his back. He broke from the kiss and stared down into Mickey's eyes, seeing a mixture of emotions racing through them. He just hoped there wasn't any regret.

He reached a hand up and feathered his fingers over the cut on Mickey's nose. He wanted to say so much to him in that moment, stuff he had wanted to say for years, but he knew that was for another time and place.

"Are you just going to fucking stare at me all night, or are you going to do something with that fucking hot mouth of yours, Gallagher?"

Ian took in Mickey's words and then grinned. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be the one blowing me whenever I want it?"

"Fuck off," Mickey said before his mouth was once again assaulted with Ian's. This kiss was hungry and passionate and, when Ian finally pulled away, they were both panting.

Ian began his descent, kissing Mickey's chin and then his neck before sprinking kisses on his chest. He licked his way down Mickey's abs, even dipping his tongue into his bellybutton.

"Fuck, Gallagher," Mickey choked out.

Ian smiled, feeling Mickey's erection already pulsing against his chest. He kept eye contact with Mickey as he took his cock into his mouth.

Mickey's eyes fluttered closed and he withered a little, his breathing hitched as Ian worked his warm soft mouth on him. "Fuck, that feels good."

"Mhm," Ian moaned as he bobbed his head, knowing the brunette was already close. When Mickey came, Ian swallowed and then pulled back, wiping at the corner of his mouth. He stared down at Mickey, all sweaty and shaky and completely uninhibited, and he smiled.

Mickey was his.

Mickey's eyes fluttered open and he sat up. He grabbed Ian by the back of his neck and pulled him in for a devouring kiss, wanting to taste himself on the younger boy's lips. Fuck, when did he become such a fag. "Your turn," he muttered into his mouth.

Ian let out a huff as Mickey rough-housed him and flung him onto his back. Fuck, that made him so hot. He practically gasped when Mickey's mouth engulfed him and he grabbed a handful of the brunette's hair. "Christ, Mick."

Mickey grabbed Ian's hips harshly as he continued sucking his cock.

"I mean, I heard you screaming on a public street tonight how much you love sucking my dick, but _fuck_."

Mickey lifted his head. "You're a fucking dick."

"Uh huh," Ian said breathily. "Keep sucking, big boy."

Mickey gave him a smirk before going back to it. When Ian was on the verge of cumming, he pulled away and sat back.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Ian choked out, his chest sweaty and heaving. "I was almost there."

"That's what you get," Mickey said for the second time that night.

"Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah?" Ian exclaimed, sitting up and wrestling with Mickey, not caring that his ribs were roaring in pain. He got the upper hand and finally Mickey was on his back laughing.

"You think you're so tough."

Ian stared down at him. It was on the tip of his tongue to say those three little words. Man, he wanting to fucking say it so bad. Instead, he leaned down and kissed Mickey's forehead. "I won't make you regret it, Mickey," he whispered against his skin. "I won't make you regret me."

Ian stared into Mickey's eyes, knowing he had rendered the other man speechless. Mickey wasn't used to such grand words of romance. He reached between them and grabbed his own dick, using Mickey's spit and his precum to lube it. With a satisfying grunt he placed the tip at Mickey's entrance and slowly slid inside.

Mickey moaned in pleasure and dug his head back into the pillow.

"Look at me, Mick," Ian whispered, grabbing Mickey's jaw lightly.

Mickey opened his eyes and stared up into Ian's as the redhead fucked him nice and slow.

Neither one of them had ever made love before. Oh, they had fucked-plenty of times-but it had never been like this.

Ian continued to thrust into him deliciously and slowly as their eyes remained locked. He laced their fingers together and pressed Mickey's hands into the mattress.

"I won't," Mickey finally choked out when they were both close.

"Won't, what?" Ian asked, right on the verge of cumming.

"Regret you."

Ian took in those two little words and then pressed his forehead to Mickey's as he let go of his orgasm. He shuttered and cussed under his breath before finally pulling out.

Both men lay on their backs and stared up through the darkness at the ceiling, trying to catch their breath, their hands locked in between them.

"That was fucking incredible," Ian stammered.

"Fuck, yeah it was," Mickey replied. "Then again, it always is with us. That's why I kept you around so long."

Ian smiled into the darkness.

"I can't believe we're fucking holding hands right now," Mickey concluded.

"You like it."

"Eat me."

"Maybe later."

Mickey smirked at him, but a flash of desire still flashed in his eyes at the thought.

Ian looked over at his boyfriend, watching his tongue brush over his lips and the moonlight play over his features. "So, you really risked everything for me, huh?"

"Yeah," Mickey replied as he lit a cigarette and finished on an exhale. "You better fucking be worth it."

Ian laughed that goofy laugh of his, feeling like he was floating on clouds.

"I'll be back, I have to take a piss," Mickey said as he rolled out of bed and left the room. Moments later, he returned, holding something in his hand.

"I'm kinda hungry for pizza bagels," Ian said, unaware of what Mickey was holding.

Mickey climbed back onto the bed in all of his naked glory and resumed his lying position.

"What the fuck is that?" Ian asked when Mickey tossed the magazine on his chest. "You want me to do some lite reading?"

"Just open the fucking magazine, fuck wad," Mickey said with affection.

Ian laughed again and flipped through the pages. Something dropped onto his chest and he picked it up. He sat up and stared down at his own face. "Why is there a picture of me in a magazine?"

"When you were gone," Mickey began and then stopped, suddenly regretting even grabbing the fucking magazine. "Fuck it. Forget I even said anything."

"How did you even get this?" Ian asked.

"Mandy had it fucking lying around," Mickey said dismissively, staring at Ian's toned back.

Ian looked over his shoulder and down at Mickey. "Did you jack off to my picture while I was gone?"

"Fuck off," Mickey said irritably.

Ian laid down and propped himself up on an elbow, staring down at Mickey. "I'm sorry I walked away that first time, Mick. I never should have walked away."

"And you were about to fucking walk away again tonight," Mickey shot back. "Don't ever fucking do that again."

Ian leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Mickey's lips. "I won't."

"Fucking right you won't," Mickey said sharply and then finally smiled slightly. "Come on. Let's go to sleep. I'm fucking exhausted."

He laid down and then felt Ian behind him, wrapping a strong arm around him. "Now we're spooning?" he said, even though he didn't mind it one bit. He felt safe. He also felt really, really gay, but perhaps he would get used to that.

"Shut up. You love it," Ian whispered against the back of his neck. "And you love me."

"Fuck off."

Mickey instinctfully pulled Ian's arm just a little tighter around him and he pushed back just a little closer against the younger boy's body, feeling safe and warm and loved...though he wouldn't admit that.

He then realized he didn't have to admit that. He had said all he needed to say tonight by his actions. They both knew what this meant...that everything would be different now, better, and that now they would finally be able to be what they had always wanted to be to each other...consequences and everything else be damned.

Mickey closed his eyes, feeling himself slipping off into a deep sleep. For the first time in a really, really long time, he was actually looking forward to tomorrow.


End file.
